News update 1 July 16 2007

Poorly again now so off work for a while. Going to be self indulgent and take advantage of your kindness.

Just thought I would contact a few friends to keep you informed. Making these notes is therapeutic and those who remember our old friend Eric may remember him saying “friends are people you can take advantage of”.

Thought I was rid of the cancer thing. Chemotherapy finished at Christmas and I was fine at my February review.
In March a lump developed behind my ear. Saw the GP who said it was probably a cyst but she spotted a mark on my earlobe that could be melanoma. Back into the hospital thing. Biopsy of earlobe proved negative so all clear. BUT then lump started to grow at alarming rate. Back to hospital two weeks ago for another biopsy then another CT scan.

Lump is a malignant and aggressive melanoma. Worse still the scan revealed secondary lesions in my brain.

Interviewed by panel of three consultants – dermatologist, surgeon, radiotherapist. All very unclear. They were all very certain that the future is very uncertain. I think I was bit too philosophical and they were convinced that I did not understand the seriousness. I have been oppressed by dire warnings of worst case scenarios. Apparently it cannot be cured but I will be receiving palliative care for some undeterminable period of time.

I actually feel really well at the moment apart from headaches resulting no doubt from the large lump behind my ear stressing the skin across my scalp.

I am now into a series of radiotherapy sessions. Second one tomorrow. I have a plastic mask made to fit my head and I am clamped in it while being blasted. Nurse says I will see little effect for a couple of weeks – bad news is that the side effects will also increase over next couple of weeks. Once this is all over I see the panel again to see if it has worked and get another lecture on my future. This could be the time they tell me it is all going well and I can reapply for my driving licence.

I am not allowed to drive – the secondary lesions invalidate my licence. I am not supposed to do much computer work as there is some chance of fits – not had any yet. Sara will only allow me to use the PC for 15 minutes and only when she is in the house. Cannot go back to work. May have to apply for early retirement on ill-health grounds.

Actually feeling quite fit, doing lots of walking but feeling pretty sorry for myself. Writing this helps so thanks if you have got this far.

Brief emails very welcome. Not much good on the phone at the moment. No sympathy please – I am miserable enough. Jokes and news very welcome.

15 minutes nearly up. You will just have to wait for the next exciting bulletin.