Lost a lot of hair over the last two days. Was hoping to look like Captain Picard but think I look more like one of Catherine Tate’s characters. But am I bovvered? No, of course not. Some of my best friends have receding hairlines and I can see some real benefits:
Think of the money I will save at my stylist down in Ludlow. A pity though because he is a man who knows everything about everything in the world – he could be called Orac if that title had not been seized by my old friend Brian years ago.
I now have a chance to make good use of the balaclava I was given for Christmas many years ago.
I will soon be able to check out the fuzzy ball theorem beloved of topologists.
I will look like a real physicist at last.
That has reminded me about Physics and some jolly interesting tales. There can be few things as boring as school Physics experiments and I remember one day doing ‘Searle’s disc’. This involves a metal disc about 15 cm diameter and 2 cm thick. It has three holes around the edge for thermometers. You suspend it from a clamp by three strings, you then heat the disc and allow it to cool. You read the thermometers every minute through the afternoon – what fun! You also get to draw some graphs! Anyway I was a bit careless with the Bunsen burner and managed to burn through one of the strings. The disc crashed to the bench smashing all three thermometers. The teacher (known to all as Boge) became apoplectic. It was a treasured experiment, generations of boys had done the experiment properly so why was I such an idiot? Fortunately some friends were doing a similar experiment with a thick iron bar being heated at one end – temperature every minute etc. They somehow managed to knock it over, it crashed to the floor, a lot more thermometers broken, they also managed to set the bench on fire. Boge’s wrath was a sight to see. It seems we were the worst class he had ever taught, we were a disgrace etc. etc.
Another Physics story. In the Lower sixth we were taught by text book Ted. I have heard other Physics teachers called this in schools, it must be a feature of Physics teachers. We all had a text book but Ted insisted on copying the book onto the chalk board and we then had to copy from the chalkboard into our exercise books. We did this for a whole year.What was the point?
One day Ted was late for the afternoon lesson. When he arrived he apologised and said all the staff had been watching the news and the Israelis had just reached the Suez canal. We all cheered! How sad that seems now. What sort of education were we getting that we had such a simplistic view of such a terrible event?
This reminds me of Bill Yates. Bill was the Tory MP for the Wrekin and he lived next door to my Aunt’s mother – what circles we moved in. I think there must have been a general election in 1966 or 1967. A group of us went to listen to a speech by George Brown in Wellington town hall. I remember we were very impressed by the way he dealt with hecklers – and there were a lot. Not many labour supporters in Wellington in those days.
Bill Yates’ claim to fame was that he went through a whole parliament and only spoke once – that was to complain that the House of Commons shop no longer stocked jam donuts. Then suddenly this man who must have been one of the most innocuous MPs ever elected had a crisis of conscience. He made an impassioned speech on behalf of the Palestinians, he dared to question the actions of Israel. This was too much for conservative Wellington. He got slung out and never stood as an MP again. I believe he emigrated to Australia.
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
Sunday, 29 July 2007
Titter Hill Update
Managed to teeter down titter hill today.
There is a tree nursery partway down and I was watching a Roe Deer in their meadow. It saw us after a while and ran off, jumping effortlesslly over the high fence.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of watching three buzzards by the nursery meadow. I am convinced that two older ones were teaching a young one to hunt.
This is a great place to live.
I was over ambitious trying to walk back up Chapel bank and had to ask Sara to get me in the car. It is a jolly steep hill (14%). Poppy was worse than me. I think she got her paw stung or bruised it on a stone. Whatever we had a lot of sorrowful posing with her paw in the air waiting to be picked up. Remember the victorian print of the Sheltie dog by the coal fire?
Apparently she is now fit again and has been chasing rabbits in Rocky's field. Rabbit lovers do not worry. I have more chance than she has of catching a rabbit and I have no chance at all.
There is a tree nursery partway down and I was watching a Roe Deer in their meadow. It saw us after a while and ran off, jumping effortlesslly over the high fence.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of watching three buzzards by the nursery meadow. I am convinced that two older ones were teaching a young one to hunt.
This is a great place to live.
I was over ambitious trying to walk back up Chapel bank and had to ask Sara to get me in the car. It is a jolly steep hill (14%). Poppy was worse than me. I think she got her paw stung or bruised it on a stone. Whatever we had a lot of sorrowful posing with her paw in the air waiting to be picked up. Remember the victorian print of the Sheltie dog by the coal fire?
Apparently she is now fit again and has been chasing rabbits in Rocky's field. Rabbit lovers do not worry. I have more chance than she has of catching a rabbit and I have no chance at all.
Bully
There have been some bullying stories around recently and they set me thinking about school days.
I was bullied at grammar school. It was sporadic, it was bearable and I do not think it gave me any long term mental scars. I think the story is worth repeating because it raises some interesting points.
It started during the second year when a lad called Rowley arrived. The word on the streets was that Rowley’s parents had returned from Southern Rhodesia as it was then called. This may have been true – he certainly fit the stereotype of an arrogant son of empire. He quickly gathered a small gang of like minded scallywags. I was a fat nerd so immediately a target of choice. My role became to do his latin homework on demand. This was no real hardship as I always found Latin trivial.
Early in year three there was a serious incident. A lad was savagely beaten on the steps outside the library. He was harmless but eccentric and had somehow offended Rowley & Co. It was a nasty attack with serious injury, it was several weeks before he returned. The whole school were assembled in the Hall. The headteacher addressed us: “Each of you in turn will be brought to my office by the prefects. I will see every one of you before anyone goes home today. I know that many of you will tell me who committed the assault. You will not have to confront the attackers. They will not know who you are. There will be no trial, there will be no rules of evidence. There will be punishment”. The process started but I did not get called. Very quickly Rowley and Co. saw the writing on the wall and confessed. Not sure exactly what happened then but there were rumours of parents being called to school and very severe canings. It had little effect. Within days normal bullying service was resumed.
My worst experience came one day in third year. Rowley had a lieutenant, a large oaf of a lad from farming stock. They caught me in the locker room one day. They found a school scarf and twisted it around my neck then took one end each and had a tug of war. I was bounced against the walls and on to the floor. I remember my Mom giving me a hard time over my school uniform when I got home. I can remember little of the experience but it must have been unpleasant. Why did they do this? Because they could. We must remember that these lads had not had the benefit of an active tutorial programme, they had never had the chance to empathise with their victims through role play, they had never had an equal opportunities awareness raising course, they knew little of health & safety, I doubt they had even done a risk assessment. Anyway I survived and can see the funny side now. Bullies are essentially pompous, self important people and intrinsically ridiculous (remember Captain Square?).
There is a foot note. The oafish lieutenant lived in one of the farming villages North of Wellington and two days after the events above he was walking home from school when he got knocked down and killed by a hit and run driver. I remember being with a group of friends in the school library when we were told the news by Rowley. He asked us to contribute to a collection, sign a card etc. Two of my friends were affronted, they told him in no uncertain terms to clear off, they told him that they had no regrets about what had happened. The philosophical debate ran for some weeks – that is what we were like.
There is a second footnote. Wellington Grammar School appears on Friends Reunited and there are several posts about the ‘tragedy’. It seems the lieutenant was beloved of everyone at the grammar school, we were all inconsolable when he died, the prefects all volunteered to carry his coffin, there ought to be a memorial. I did consider sending a post to give an alternative perspective but have never done so.
I am not bitter about my experiences. I rarely think of those events. However if I ever get the chance to give Rowley a poke in the eye with a sharp stick I will be sorely tempted.
I was bullied at grammar school. It was sporadic, it was bearable and I do not think it gave me any long term mental scars. I think the story is worth repeating because it raises some interesting points.
It started during the second year when a lad called Rowley arrived. The word on the streets was that Rowley’s parents had returned from Southern Rhodesia as it was then called. This may have been true – he certainly fit the stereotype of an arrogant son of empire. He quickly gathered a small gang of like minded scallywags. I was a fat nerd so immediately a target of choice. My role became to do his latin homework on demand. This was no real hardship as I always found Latin trivial.
Early in year three there was a serious incident. A lad was savagely beaten on the steps outside the library. He was harmless but eccentric and had somehow offended Rowley & Co. It was a nasty attack with serious injury, it was several weeks before he returned. The whole school were assembled in the Hall. The headteacher addressed us: “Each of you in turn will be brought to my office by the prefects. I will see every one of you before anyone goes home today. I know that many of you will tell me who committed the assault. You will not have to confront the attackers. They will not know who you are. There will be no trial, there will be no rules of evidence. There will be punishment”. The process started but I did not get called. Very quickly Rowley and Co. saw the writing on the wall and confessed. Not sure exactly what happened then but there were rumours of parents being called to school and very severe canings. It had little effect. Within days normal bullying service was resumed.
My worst experience came one day in third year. Rowley had a lieutenant, a large oaf of a lad from farming stock. They caught me in the locker room one day. They found a school scarf and twisted it around my neck then took one end each and had a tug of war. I was bounced against the walls and on to the floor. I remember my Mom giving me a hard time over my school uniform when I got home. I can remember little of the experience but it must have been unpleasant. Why did they do this? Because they could. We must remember that these lads had not had the benefit of an active tutorial programme, they had never had the chance to empathise with their victims through role play, they had never had an equal opportunities awareness raising course, they knew little of health & safety, I doubt they had even done a risk assessment. Anyway I survived and can see the funny side now. Bullies are essentially pompous, self important people and intrinsically ridiculous (remember Captain Square?).
There is a foot note. The oafish lieutenant lived in one of the farming villages North of Wellington and two days after the events above he was walking home from school when he got knocked down and killed by a hit and run driver. I remember being with a group of friends in the school library when we were told the news by Rowley. He asked us to contribute to a collection, sign a card etc. Two of my friends were affronted, they told him in no uncertain terms to clear off, they told him that they had no regrets about what had happened. The philosophical debate ran for some weeks – that is what we were like.
There is a second footnote. Wellington Grammar School appears on Friends Reunited and there are several posts about the ‘tragedy’. It seems the lieutenant was beloved of everyone at the grammar school, we were all inconsolable when he died, the prefects all volunteered to carry his coffin, there ought to be a memorial. I did consider sending a post to give an alternative perspective but have never done so.
I am not bitter about my experiences. I rarely think of those events. However if I ever get the chance to give Rowley a poke in the eye with a sharp stick I will be sorely tempted.
Saturday, 28 July 2007
Health Update - beware!
Not too good last couple of days. Very tired. Melanoma aching and throbbing. Ear feels like severe sunburn. I assume this is the RT starting to work. Certainly the melanoma seems to be changing so I hope it istarting to break up.
Writing this BLOG is very therapeutic. I really do not think it matters if anyone ever reads it. The exercise of writing is enjoyable and satisfying.
Caring for a dog, talking to a horse, writing a BLOG - these are all as soothing as Steroids with none of the unpleasant side effects. I recommend these altenative therapies - far better than tree hugging, crystal fondling, chomping on hedgerow weeds.
I seem to have taken bucketfulls of steroids over the last two years so why do I not look like Rocky Balboa?
Writing this BLOG is very therapeutic. I really do not think it matters if anyone ever reads it. The exercise of writing is enjoyable and satisfying.
Caring for a dog, talking to a horse, writing a BLOG - these are all as soothing as Steroids with none of the unpleasant side effects. I recommend these altenative therapies - far better than tree hugging, crystal fondling, chomping on hedgerow weeds.
I seem to have taken bucketfulls of steroids over the last two years so why do I not look like Rocky Balboa?
Thursday, 26 July 2007
Titter Hill
Planning an epic walk today. This is the view down Chapel bank. I aim to go down Titter hill and then back up Chapel Bank. Will probably take about 2 hours at current fitness levels.
Titter hill is not as exciting as it sounds. This is not a Frankie Howard titter. It is the Shropshire way of spelling teeter. The hill is very steep with a couple of winding bends. It is one of those roads that is a trap for the unwary user of SatNav, occasionally a lorry gets stuck on the hill and has to be pulled out by tractor.
Chapel Bank has an old broken down Chapel of course. There are lots of Chapels around here - far more than pubs of which there are now none - this must have been a wicked place in serious need of salvation in the past. Most of the chapels have now been made into nice homes - excellent recycling.
Titterstone Clee hill is a similar use of the word titter. I recommend a visit if you get the chance. You can get almost to the top by car and there is a large parking area. The views are splendid and you can roam about at will. There are some very interesting quarry buildings - dangerous for children unfortunately.
Missing Work
I have the privilege of working with these lovely girls every day. You can see why I am missing them and keen to get back. Annette sent me this picture a week ago and it has done me a power of good.She tells me that the plan of having a summer dress code of gold lurex hot pants is coming to fruition and that she has managed to get some gold lurex cycling shorts for me and John so that we can be part of the corporate identity. It has been a bit cold so far but the weather people seem to be promising a warm August so I am looking forward to us all trying our new look.
Angela says her hot pants are bootilicious, I do not know what that means but Angela says she will model them and then I will understand.
The current problems with the Tour de France mean that Hayley has a chance of picking up some Orange tee shirts on Ebay to finish off the image.
Poppy's bad day
So we set out this morning for our walk. very rainy so it is a mac and welly job.
We are just going out when neighbour John appears with his pack of dogs. John has 8 working dogs, spaniels, lurchers etc. he works at local hunts through the season. They are nice dogs and usually very well behaved. Today two of them immediately set upon Poppy bowling her over. It serves her right because she will insist on staring at these two in their pen whenever she gets the chance and they are clearly fed up of her.
No harm done except to pride. John calls them to heel and off we set on our walk.
It is pouring with rain. Everywhere is muddy. Poppy quickly resembles a drowned rat. Eventually we are heading back up the lane. I am trudging along and accidentally catch a stone with my welly, this ricocchets into her ribs, she jumps and falls into a pot hole full of water. they say dogs do not have facial expressions but this is one seriously annoyed dog.
All is well after a bath and drying off - dogs are very forgiving.
We are just going out when neighbour John appears with his pack of dogs. John has 8 working dogs, spaniels, lurchers etc. he works at local hunts through the season. They are nice dogs and usually very well behaved. Today two of them immediately set upon Poppy bowling her over. It serves her right because she will insist on staring at these two in their pen whenever she gets the chance and they are clearly fed up of her.
No harm done except to pride. John calls them to heel and off we set on our walk.
It is pouring with rain. Everywhere is muddy. Poppy quickly resembles a drowned rat. Eventually we are heading back up the lane. I am trudging along and accidentally catch a stone with my welly, this ricocchets into her ribs, she jumps and falls into a pot hole full of water. they say dogs do not have facial expressions but this is one seriously annoyed dog.
All is well after a bath and drying off - dogs are very forgiving.
Wednesday, 25 July 2007
Radiotherapy
So I am waiting for my second radiotherapy session. The only magazines are a thing called “Hello”. Have you ever seen such a thing? Dreadful load of tripe about some very uninteresting people who I have never heard of. I had a joke with the nurse and he said “We have mostly women here and they seem to like it”. This raises an interesting question – is it true that Radiotherapy is mostly women? I wonder why?
Two young women then appear. Both late teens I think. One in a wheelchair and the other walking with a stick. We all start chatting and it is soon clear that these girls are sisters and are both receiving a long series of radiotherapy. One of them has lost all her hair but it is now growing back and she is debating whether to have it coloured and what style.
A nurse appears. One girl says “you seem to be here all the time. You ought to have a holiday”. Her sister says “What’s happened, has she made a mistake? She has not X rayed your arse instead of your chest has she?”
I am then invited in for my blast so I miss the rest. What fun we have in the RT department.
Two young women then appear. Both late teens I think. One in a wheelchair and the other walking with a stick. We all start chatting and it is soon clear that these girls are sisters and are both receiving a long series of radiotherapy. One of them has lost all her hair but it is now growing back and she is debating whether to have it coloured and what style.
A nurse appears. One girl says “you seem to be here all the time. You ought to have a holiday”. Her sister says “What’s happened, has she made a mistake? She has not X rayed your arse instead of your chest has she?”
I am then invited in for my blast so I miss the rest. What fun we have in the RT department.
A Joke
Rather tasteless but there you go.
An old chap has been a lavatory attendant in the Public Conveniences in the centre of Birmingham for many years.
He reminisces with his mates: "It is not like it used to be. People coming and going, a chat and a joke. These days it is all drug takers, needles, rubbish, depression. A chap came in the other day for a shit and it was like a breath of fresh air"
An old chap has been a lavatory attendant in the Public Conveniences in the centre of Birmingham for many years.
He reminisces with his mates: "It is not like it used to be. People coming and going, a chat and a joke. These days it is all drug takers, needles, rubbish, depression. A chap came in the other day for a shit and it was like a breath of fresh air"
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Friends
Communicating with old friends has proved fascinating, moving, rewarding and lots of other ings as well.
I do not feel sorry for myself now after the early phase. I find it interesting to explore and comment on my situation but I suspect that such self indulgence is human nature so I do not feel too ashamed.
Ihave been deeply moved to hear how many of my old friends are dealing with difficult situations, many of which eclipse my own problems. It is no source of satisfaction but it is a reflection on our lives. I begin to see the attraction of religion - or at least a belief in principles.
Going through a phase now where I sleep badly at night and then have a nap in the afternoon. It is great but Poppy the pup disagrees. This is just an excuse to put in the picture of Poppy.
Monday, 23 July 2007
Horse Manure
My duties now include tidying up Rocky's field when we get a dry spell. Rocky is Sara's horse, he is quiet young and has a nice temperament, friendly, pleased to see you, wants to communicate. he has a slight limp at the moment so we are able to discuss symptoms. Will post a picture once I work out how. (Done it!!)
Some interesting things about horse manure:
1. It is amazing how much one horse can produce in one day.
2. It is remarkably inoffensive - obviously very tasty treat for flies and, occasionally, dogs. I remeber local farmer saying it was not much use for spreading on the fields, not nearly as potent as cow's or pig's.
3. I am pitching it into the hedgerows around the field and expect a splendid blackberry crop in a few week's time. I am also wondering if the improved fertility might reduce some of the large nettle beds.
4. There is a 'Roots' aspect to this. When I was a lad my Dad used to tell me tales of his own youth in West Bromwich where he used to patrol the streets with barrow and spade collecting horse manure for my Grandad's allotment.
5. I have a wonderful device for collecting the stuff. Mechanical devices are somehow more impressive and clever than electronic solutions.
Some interesting things about horse manure:
1. It is amazing how much one horse can produce in one day.
2. It is remarkably inoffensive - obviously very tasty treat for flies and, occasionally, dogs. I remeber local farmer saying it was not much use for spreading on the fields, not nearly as potent as cow's or pig's.
3. I am pitching it into the hedgerows around the field and expect a splendid blackberry crop in a few week's time. I am also wondering if the improved fertility might reduce some of the large nettle beds.
4. There is a 'Roots' aspect to this. When I was a lad my Dad used to tell me tales of his own youth in West Bromwich where he used to patrol the streets with barrow and spade collecting horse manure for my Grandad's allotment.
5. I have a wonderful device for collecting the stuff. Mechanical devices are somehow more impressive and clever than electronic solutions.
Radiotherapy
Feel as fraud today. Alert, energetic. Feel like I ought to set off for college and start wrestling with the spreadsheets again.
Very tired yesterday which is the worst side effect so far. The strange thing is that my back problem seems to have gone and I am walking better than I have for years. Could be the steroids or could be the prolonged rest or could be not driving. This is now like when I was in hospital last year. Lots of rest, looking for things to break up the day - this is the time for a shower, this is the time for a cup of tea, now walk down to the shop, now prepare for visiting time.
Why am I not bored? It would be easy to get obsessed with checking whether my ability to reason is weakening. Did a crossword last night, getting frustrated with patience on the PC so have stopped. Tried to do a bit of OU maths earlier this week but unble to concentrate.
Met Esther, the McMillan Nurse yesterday. This is what they do, make contact so they know who I am if and when I need help. A very impressive lady. She has sorted out my application for Disability Living Allowance, arranged for me to have free prescriptions. My next appointment at the hospital had been a bit slow coming so she phoned them up and it was sorted immediately! I am to see the radiotherapy consultant on August 29.
The first RT nurse I met fitted me with the face mask and said "This is much better than Chemotherapy because it is targetted on the specific area"
The second time another one said "We do not do targetted RT in your sort of case. We irradiate your whole head so that you have low dose low side effects. Your hair will drop out in about 4 weeks from now."
Esther said "they will have targetted your tumours because they can only do it once. Your hair will drop out soon or not at all."
We shall see! I have grasped the point that it is all uncertain. I shall look a right nana if it all fizzles out.
Very tired yesterday which is the worst side effect so far. The strange thing is that my back problem seems to have gone and I am walking better than I have for years. Could be the steroids or could be the prolonged rest or could be not driving. This is now like when I was in hospital last year. Lots of rest, looking for things to break up the day - this is the time for a shower, this is the time for a cup of tea, now walk down to the shop, now prepare for visiting time.
Why am I not bored? It would be easy to get obsessed with checking whether my ability to reason is weakening. Did a crossword last night, getting frustrated with patience on the PC so have stopped. Tried to do a bit of OU maths earlier this week but unble to concentrate.
Met Esther, the McMillan Nurse yesterday. This is what they do, make contact so they know who I am if and when I need help. A very impressive lady. She has sorted out my application for Disability Living Allowance, arranged for me to have free prescriptions. My next appointment at the hospital had been a bit slow coming so she phoned them up and it was sorted immediately! I am to see the radiotherapy consultant on August 29.
The first RT nurse I met fitted me with the face mask and said "This is much better than Chemotherapy because it is targetted on the specific area"
The second time another one said "We do not do targetted RT in your sort of case. We irradiate your whole head so that you have low dose low side effects. Your hair will drop out in about 4 weeks from now."
Esther said "they will have targetted your tumours because they can only do it once. Your hair will drop out soon or not at all."
We shall see! I have grasped the point that it is all uncertain. I shall look a right nana if it all fizzles out.
Friday, 20 July 2007
The Nurse
Time for the nurse story.
So I go in to the treatment centre in Shrewsbury for a biopsy on my ear lump. - Not sure what to call it but the scientific term is a whopper so will stick to lump.
Have to wait until last as it is local anaesthetic. Eventually get dressed in one of they hospital frocks and then get wheeled around the corridors on a wheel chair.
Met by trainee nurse who explains what they are going to do. Four injections in lump - a lot like dentist but not painful at all. Head quickly goes numb - make up your own jokes.
The nurse tells me that if it does start to hurt then I must say so immediately. It seems us men can be so brave! I assure her that she need have no concerns as if it hurts I will undoubtedly cry. Surgeon tries to take some fluid from lump and fails - this is a cause of concern to him.
Wheeled into the theatre where another attractive young nurse invites me to climb on the bed. Effect spoiled by the fact she is wearing rubber gloves and a face mask of the type favoured by welders - a bit concerned about why she needs such robust protection. She then covers me with green sheets saying, encouragingly, this will keep the blood off you.
Surgeon sits on a chair and then gets grumpy over the lights, lots of fiddling with two lights and I have my eyes covered with damp gauze. Starts to cut away - I feel nothing but can hear a grinding noise - again it is like the dentist.
Surgeon decides my ear is in the way. Nurse has to get a grip but little space so she lies across me!
After this is over the nurse apologises! I gracefully accept her apology and say just do not let it happen again.
They decide I need a pressure bandage. This proves difficult and in the end I have one of those you see on the movies with my head enclosed and my eyes peeping out. This gives a lot of harmless entertainment to the young lady who then wheels me back to the recovery ward. There are three of us like this in the recovery ward - we look like a bunch of extras for Stalingrad.
This is better than last year in the surgery ward. I think people are less seriously ill so we can all have a chat and a joke.
So I go in to the treatment centre in Shrewsbury for a biopsy on my ear lump. - Not sure what to call it but the scientific term is a whopper so will stick to lump.
Have to wait until last as it is local anaesthetic. Eventually get dressed in one of they hospital frocks and then get wheeled around the corridors on a wheel chair.
Met by trainee nurse who explains what they are going to do. Four injections in lump - a lot like dentist but not painful at all. Head quickly goes numb - make up your own jokes.
The nurse tells me that if it does start to hurt then I must say so immediately. It seems us men can be so brave! I assure her that she need have no concerns as if it hurts I will undoubtedly cry. Surgeon tries to take some fluid from lump and fails - this is a cause of concern to him.
Wheeled into the theatre where another attractive young nurse invites me to climb on the bed. Effect spoiled by the fact she is wearing rubber gloves and a face mask of the type favoured by welders - a bit concerned about why she needs such robust protection. She then covers me with green sheets saying, encouragingly, this will keep the blood off you.
Surgeon sits on a chair and then gets grumpy over the lights, lots of fiddling with two lights and I have my eyes covered with damp gauze. Starts to cut away - I feel nothing but can hear a grinding noise - again it is like the dentist.
Surgeon decides my ear is in the way. Nurse has to get a grip but little space so she lies across me!
After this is over the nurse apologises! I gracefully accept her apology and say just do not let it happen again.
They decide I need a pressure bandage. This proves difficult and in the end I have one of those you see on the movies with my head enclosed and my eyes peeping out. This gives a lot of harmless entertainment to the young lady who then wheels me back to the recovery ward. There are three of us like this in the recovery ward - we look like a bunch of extras for Stalingrad.
This is better than last year in the surgery ward. I think people are less seriously ill so we can all have a chat and a joke.
lets have a go
Jamie has set up this space for me in the Blogosphere. Not sure but it is pouring with rain and apparently going to get worse so will give it a go.
I am going to restrict access as I am not too sure about telling my tale to the world. It is also self indulgent to share problems with others who may not be interested BUT it is definitely therapeutic and keeps the brain active.
Of course there is nothing to beat the joy of pontification - one of the key reasons for being a teacher of course.
Anyway read on or ignore it is up to you. Not sure if you can reply or add bits on but will explore as the rain coninues to pour down.
I am going to restrict access as I am not too sure about telling my tale to the world. It is also self indulgent to share problems with others who may not be interested BUT it is definitely therapeutic and keeps the brain active.
Of course there is nothing to beat the joy of pontification - one of the key reasons for being a teacher of course.
Anyway read on or ignore it is up to you. Not sure if you can reply or add bits on but will explore as the rain coninues to pour down.
News update 1 July 16 2007
Poorly again now so off work for a while. Going to be self indulgent and take advantage of your kindness.
Just thought I would contact a few friends to keep you informed. Making these notes is therapeutic and those who remember our old friend Eric may remember him saying “friends are people you can take advantage of”.
Thought I was rid of the cancer thing. Chemotherapy finished at Christmas and I was fine at my February review.
In March a lump developed behind my ear. Saw the GP who said it was probably a cyst but she spotted a mark on my earlobe that could be melanoma. Back into the hospital thing. Biopsy of earlobe proved negative so all clear. BUT then lump started to grow at alarming rate. Back to hospital two weeks ago for another biopsy then another CT scan.
Lump is a malignant and aggressive melanoma. Worse still the scan revealed secondary lesions in my brain.
Interviewed by panel of three consultants – dermatologist, surgeon, radiotherapist. All very unclear. They were all very certain that the future is very uncertain. I think I was bit too philosophical and they were convinced that I did not understand the seriousness. I have been oppressed by dire warnings of worst case scenarios. Apparently it cannot be cured but I will be receiving palliative care for some undeterminable period of time.
I actually feel really well at the moment apart from headaches resulting no doubt from the large lump behind my ear stressing the skin across my scalp.
I am now into a series of radiotherapy sessions. Second one tomorrow. I have a plastic mask made to fit my head and I am clamped in it while being blasted. Nurse says I will see little effect for a couple of weeks – bad news is that the side effects will also increase over next couple of weeks. Once this is all over I see the panel again to see if it has worked and get another lecture on my future. This could be the time they tell me it is all going well and I can reapply for my driving licence.
I am not allowed to drive – the secondary lesions invalidate my licence. I am not supposed to do much computer work as there is some chance of fits – not had any yet. Sara will only allow me to use the PC for 15 minutes and only when she is in the house. Cannot go back to work. May have to apply for early retirement on ill-health grounds.
Actually feeling quite fit, doing lots of walking but feeling pretty sorry for myself. Writing this helps so thanks if you have got this far.
Brief emails very welcome. Not much good on the phone at the moment. No sympathy please – I am miserable enough. Jokes and news very welcome.
15 minutes nearly up. You will just have to wait for the next exciting bulletin.
Poorly again now so off work for a while. Going to be self indulgent and take advantage of your kindness.
Just thought I would contact a few friends to keep you informed. Making these notes is therapeutic and those who remember our old friend Eric may remember him saying “friends are people you can take advantage of”.
Thought I was rid of the cancer thing. Chemotherapy finished at Christmas and I was fine at my February review.
In March a lump developed behind my ear. Saw the GP who said it was probably a cyst but she spotted a mark on my earlobe that could be melanoma. Back into the hospital thing. Biopsy of earlobe proved negative so all clear. BUT then lump started to grow at alarming rate. Back to hospital two weeks ago for another biopsy then another CT scan.
Lump is a malignant and aggressive melanoma. Worse still the scan revealed secondary lesions in my brain.
Interviewed by panel of three consultants – dermatologist, surgeon, radiotherapist. All very unclear. They were all very certain that the future is very uncertain. I think I was bit too philosophical and they were convinced that I did not understand the seriousness. I have been oppressed by dire warnings of worst case scenarios. Apparently it cannot be cured but I will be receiving palliative care for some undeterminable period of time.
I actually feel really well at the moment apart from headaches resulting no doubt from the large lump behind my ear stressing the skin across my scalp.
I am now into a series of radiotherapy sessions. Second one tomorrow. I have a plastic mask made to fit my head and I am clamped in it while being blasted. Nurse says I will see little effect for a couple of weeks – bad news is that the side effects will also increase over next couple of weeks. Once this is all over I see the panel again to see if it has worked and get another lecture on my future. This could be the time they tell me it is all going well and I can reapply for my driving licence.
I am not allowed to drive – the secondary lesions invalidate my licence. I am not supposed to do much computer work as there is some chance of fits – not had any yet. Sara will only allow me to use the PC for 15 minutes and only when she is in the house. Cannot go back to work. May have to apply for early retirement on ill-health grounds.
Actually feeling quite fit, doing lots of walking but feeling pretty sorry for myself. Writing this helps so thanks if you have got this far.
Brief emails very welcome. Not much good on the phone at the moment. No sympathy please – I am miserable enough. Jokes and news very welcome.
15 minutes nearly up. You will just have to wait for the next exciting bulletin.
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
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